I know that by law, you couldimpregnate me again. Several times. But now we finally have our babygirby. He's beautiful. Your wife, however, is a tub of lard. It's goingto take a concentrated effort for me to slim down. I want to do it.Although I'll never be that svelte bride you first so lovingly bedded, Ido want to look nice for you. I want you to be proud of me. I'm thirty-four. I've borne you seven babies in the last seventeen years. I've nursedthem and helped nurse Alistair's little ones. I can't look like a runwaymodel but I do want to look like a well-proportioned matron." I stopped,afraid that if I said a another word, I'd burst into tears. Therealization that I spent thirty percent of my married life pregnantshocked me. The fat on my hips and thighs embarrassed me.Nanette kissed me, sweetly, gently. "Do not worry, darling. You are anatural born homemaker and got pregnant like a good and properlysubmissive wife. I love looking at either you or Alistair in. ’ Lauren walked into the kitchen where Julia was busy toasting bread. ‘Want anything in particular?’ she stole yet another kiss from Lauren. ‘I like this part.’ Lauren told herself. ‘Um, the toast looks good.’ ‘Orange juice or milk?’ ‘Juice will be fine. Anything you need help with?’ ‘No, I’ve got it all under control.’ Julia set a plate down with toast and a cup of juice for Lauren and sat across from her with a cup of coffee. ‘What’s it like when you panic Lauren? What do you hear in your mind?’ it was a stiff probing question from Julia. She paused for a moment. ‘She should know. It’s not some dirty little secret.’ ‘It changes. Mostly its white noise of thoughts that I can’t focus on one thought.’ ‘What’s in those thoughts?’ What was in those thoughts that caused the anxiety just earlier? Lauren played with the crusts of her bread trying to formulate the answer. ‘I don’t know. I guess it was weird waking up here. I didn’t expect to. I don’t know if there’s stuff I’m supposed to.
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